12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
