okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
