My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
