So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
