And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
