i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
