you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
worst night to have a conscience
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
