Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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