Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
