okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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