And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
