dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
