Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
