Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just pee around me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
