Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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