nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Let's get the cat blown out
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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