you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
