i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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