covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So. Much. Porn.
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