I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
