New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
jump out the window naked night went bad
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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