Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize