I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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