I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You may now shotgun with the bride
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
