Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
