yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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