It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
