she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
