I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
