As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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