Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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