Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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