How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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