was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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