I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
