He is an equal opportunity slut.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
