I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
