Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
