i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.