I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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