I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
