talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
