When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
