Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize