Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize