with your own penis?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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