I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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