Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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