the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
