I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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