im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
