Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?

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  (424): Excuse me do you have gonnorhea? http://tfl.nu/vw5o
  Replies (2) Good night (778) Bad night (1585) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?

  (914): View more from New York

  please be gone before i get back

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  (201): i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf? (914): please be gone before i get back http://tfl.nu/y347
  Replies (2) Good night (680) Bad night (1291)
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  (516): View more from New York

  the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"

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  (516): the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice" http://tfl.nu/bgbh
  Replies (18) Good night (3749) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate

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  (812): Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate http://tfl.nu/9bko
  Replies (23) Good night (916) Bad night (4071) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card

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  (317): my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card http://tfl.nu/9m1o
  Replies (39) Good night (1274) Bad night (3661) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.

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  (714): Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover. http://tfl.nu/xecz
  Replies (18) Good night (6456) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.

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  (615): Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift. http://tfl.nu/yqhq
  Replies (8) Good night (2265) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?

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  (317): What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am? http://tfl.nu/0wpx
  Replies (8) Good night (1612) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?

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  (479): Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace? http://tfl.nu/xfzk
  Replies (2) Good night (1314) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  hungover and i feel like a burrito

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  like eating one or like you are one?

  (850): View more from Florida

  like i am one.

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  (850): hungover and i feel like a burrito (1-850): like eating one or like you are one? (850): like i am one. http://tfl.nu/h242
  Replies (10) Good night (2171) Bad night (538)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.

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  (301): he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again. http://tfl.nu/vkbm
  Replies (8) Good night (2164) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?

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  (404): When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012? http://tfl.nu/cat9
  Replies (12) Good night (1547) Bad night (512)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween

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  (860): Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween http://tfl.nu/izhm
  Replies (4) Good night (1983) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten

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  (904): Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten http://tfl.nu/vxzl
  Replies (2) Good night (920) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.

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  (610): I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real. http://tfl.nu/qhs0
  Replies (8) Good night (443) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt

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