i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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