fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize