they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
