About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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