i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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